Princely
by Samael767
Summary: Critical Role. Widojest. (Set after C2E81, written before E82) "Do you really think I already look like a princess?" Jester said, rubbing her neck. Caleb felt his heart start to beat faster. This was most unexpected.


**The Lavish Chateau. Evening. Caleb's room. **

"Caleb?"

He looked up from the spellbook he was studying, to find Jester hovering above him. They had all accomplished the unthinkable yesterday. After barely managing to put down Halas' malformed clones and nearly losing Fjord and Beau in the process, they had found Yussa and succeeded in burning away the Laughing Hand's heart. The creature was mortal once again; Yussa assured them of it.

Now they were taking a well deserved rest at the Chateau, while Yussa conferred with Allura, the archmage from Tal'dorei. As partial thanks for their assistance, the elven magus had gifted Caleb a potent book of spells, which he was eager to dig into. But Jester took precedence.

She always did, these days.

"Yes, Jester?" Caleb asked, giving the faintest smile.

She was leaning against the doorframe, seemingly deep in thought. He could only wonder what she had come to say. Was it time for dinner? Did Nott or Beau need to speak with him? Had Yussa sent a message?

"Do you really think I already look like a princess?" Jester said, rubbing her neck.

Caleb felt his heart start to beat faster. This was most unexpected.

"Er… I…well, of course. Yes, you…you check all the boxes," he stammered. "Out of a storybook.

She shook her head and walked into the room, only a foot away from him now. _Thump. Thump. Thump._

"But I donnnn't! I've read soooo many books about princesses and like…I don't really seem like any of them," Jester whined. "Like this one!"

She reached over to the shelf behind Caleb and pulled out a bright blue book, with silver pages. She pulled it open and showed it to him. The page had a colorful drawing of a pale human woman with long golden hair, standing above a kneeling knight in shining armor.

"That is Princess Arabella Wintermist. Mama used to read this to me all the time. She's super pretty and kind and has lots of gold-ok, so like, I have those parts obviously, but she's…she's a human. They're always humans or sometimes elves. And like, one dwarf."

She sighed. "There are no tiefling princesses. If there are, I've never read about them."

Caleb closed his book and stood up. He looked Jester in the eye and frowned. "So this is an issue of race, _ja_? I find that surprising, considering who we travel with and the alliances we have formed. In the months since…we formed this company, we have worked alongside giants and kobolds…kenku and pirates…we have personally had an audience with a dark elf empress and seen a city filled with people who make tieflings look quaint in comparison." He gave Princess Arabella a dismissive glance. "_Scheisse_ on the stories. The world we live in shows the truth."

Jester was silent at first, before she began to giggle. _Thump. Thump. Thump. _"That was really good Caleb! If the wizard stuff doesn't work out, you could like, run for marquis!" She paused and put a hand on her chin. "…Is that even something you can run for?"

It was Caleb's turn to laugh. A rare occurrence, but the idea was well-worthy of mirth. "I will…take it under consideration."

Jester laughed with him for a moment longer, before she looked back at the storybook. "I do have a few more things in common with princesses, though…"

"Oh? What are those?" Caleb chuckled.

"I was kidnapped by a monster," she whispered. "And a…dashing man _died_ trying to rescue me."

Caleb felt a chill run down his spine. He felt images flash through his mind; memories he had tried to suppress. An empty campsite. A grinning, blood-covered man. A friend lying upon the ground, eyes frozen open.

"J-jester, I'm so-" he started to say.

She shook her head. "It should have been a dragon, right? That's what takes the princesses in stories!" She laughed again, but it was joyless. "But no…the first dragon I saw nearly…killed me! Nearly killed all my friends! And then the next one did too!"

Jester picked up the storybook and chucked it at the wall nearby, where it impacted with a loud **BANG**, the spine caving in and flopping onto the floor.

"Then there was the demon bug…thing! That was fucking creepy! And the…the fleshy mouth pit! And then, I had to watch my friend get her brain taken over by Oballsack the Dickhole!"

She fell backwards against the wall, slumping into the wood and landing on her rear. She was crying now, openly. Caleb rushed over and knelt down next to her. He didn't say anything. Not yet. He just listened.

"And…I'm the one who sees her…I'm the one who has to watch Yasha, every time I take a peek at what they're doing. I watched her killing all those people…she was crying, Caleb," Jester croaked. "She was crying and I know she fucking hated it, but she couldn't stop it. And I couldn't save her! Not even last time!"

Jester had begun to clutch at her knees and dig into her skin. Caleb reached out and took one of her hands into his own. Her skin was warm, but tougher than many might suspect.

"We have failed…many times, in the last few months. But we always fail together, as a group. We learn and grow, every time. And when we do succeed, like we just did…the victory is all the sweeter," Caleb stressed. "Oban may not yet know one of his champions has been made mortal. Just imagine the shock on his _dummes, hochmütiges_ face when he sees the Laughing Hand brought down for good."

Caleb made a faux-shocked expression, his eyes wide and mouth agape. Jester gave a weak chuckle.

"_How could this beeeeee?! My beautiful Gigglefist, killed by the Mighty Nein!" _Caleb whined, doing a truly atrocious Oban impression. But it seemed to work, as Jester laughed again, much more naturally.

"Yasha will not be prisoner in her own flesh forever. If we can kill the heart of a dark god's servant, breaking the shackles on our friend should be a piece of _kuchen_."

What he did next felt instinctual, but it still shocked him as he did it. Leaning his head down, Caleb kissed the back of her hand. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ He looked up at her, staring right into her eyes.

Jester looked a bit shocked herself, but it soon morphed into a wide, bright smile.

"You know Caleb, maybe I am a princess after all, cause…you sure seem princely."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. It was only a few seconds, it felt like an eternity. Had he finally unlocked the mystery of chronomancy?

"_Caleb! It's time for dinner! Some kind of fish! You can reply to this message!"_ Nott's voice echoed in his mind.

He tried to form the words he needed, but all that came out was…

"F-fish…"

Jester looked puzzled for a moment, bit then her eyes lit up. "Oh! We're having Silverscale Salmon and croquettes! It's tasty as shiiiiiit!"

Jester stood up, pulling Caleb with her and hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Caleb," she whispered into his ear. With one last wink in his direction, she strode downstairs, yelling something as she did.

"Nott, you better save some for me!"

"I PROMISE NOTHING!" Nott shrieked, from below.

Then Caleb was alone, standing stock-still and processing the last several minutes. His face was as red as some of his favorite spells.

Willy crept up behind him, with Frumpkin draped around his neck. Caleb looked down at them and took the golem's stubby hands, beginning an awkward dance.

"_Oh meine Schönheit, oh meine Schöne. Mit deinem Gesicht aus Lilien und Rosen…"_ he softly sang, smiling. Frumpkin purred and rubbed his head on Caleb's arm.

He went down for dinner a minute later, feeling like royalty.


End file.
